


Bangable

by billymermays



Category: Hannibal - Fandom, The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: it was getting painful so i had to cut it off early lolololol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-14 04:21:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1252609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billymermays/pseuds/billymermays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>???</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bangable

Sheldon Cooper stands at the crime scene.

He stands above the lifeless body that is drenched in it's own blood. 

He closes his eyes.

"I arrive at the house and am I scientist.

I shoot Mrs. Wolowitz clean through the neck, missing all major arteries and veins. 

I am still a scientist. 

She is paralyzed, but she can still feel pain.

And see I am a scientist."

Sheldon approaches the security system. The operators have called, and he plays back a recording of Mrs. Wolowitz's last conversation with the operators after a false alarm. 

"This is my Bazinga," Sheldon says, opening his eyes. 

* * *

 Sheldon is teaching a class.

About science.

He is a scientist. 

"ANd that's how I, a scientist, solved MRs. Wolowitz's murder. WIth science. You are excused."

Just then Barry walked in.

"Sheldon, solve crimes 4 me."

"I am a scienstist and u are grosss."

"pls do the freaky empathy thing whats with that anyway"

"its because i am closer to the autistic side of the scale. I am not autistic tho. My mom had me tested lol. No representation 4 autistic people 2k14"

"ok so will u do it

 

"yeah"

"cool"

* * *

 

"Sing for me, Dr. Penny." 

"Soft killing, warm killing, little ball of meat, Happy killing, sleepy killing, I'm not a cannibal- er, pur, pur , pur"

"That's my favorite song. You are my only friend Dr. Penny."

"Well, you know what they say, it's a friend eat friend world out there."

"Yes, I've heard many people say that."

 

* * *

 

Then the scientist, sheldon, shot a man, who was not a scientist, and tried to become a father figure for his not scientist daughter and then he went slowly insane and alana or amy or whoever adopted his nintendogs because he is a cold hard nerdmeister and prefers video pets to real pets and he went crazy except not really because his mom got him tested and it was all a big mess oh god i hatge the big bang thyeory why did i write this

 


End file.
